Monday, November 5, 2012

Don't Blink!

It's funny to think, the person I was just 5 years ago is not who I am today. That girl was young and free. I know what you're thinking, "you're young and free now"! Let me explain. 

The summer before my 18th birthday I would spend my days speeding around on country roads, blasting music with the windows down. I would text my friends 24/7 even sleeping with my fist clinched around my phone in case it vibrated. I didn't want to miss out on a thing. I would go out every night, and all day on weekends. I felt prisoner by the curfew my parents gave me and rolled my eyes when they warned me not to walk out of the movie theatre alone. Everything made me giggle and blush. I wanted to be "cool". The kind of cool my friends were. They wore skinny jeans, listened to rock music, went to concerts. Oh, and I loved horror movies. I tried so hard to be someone I wasn't. I wanted to make everyone happy, no matter what it took! I made silly decisions by deciding what I thought I should be, instead of what I was. 

As I drove to a clients home today, A song came on from that summer, Summertime by Kenny Chesney. It reminded me of the nights I lay awake texting boys with the brightness on my phone turned off so my parents wouldn't notice.  I never thought of the future, or even what may happen next. I was focused on me.

Fast forward 5 years years. As my 23rd birthday approaches (yikes, time flies!) I think of how things have changed. Though I still enjoy riding on country roads, I mostly just take the highway. I drive the speed limit and notice when a kid is strapped in their car seat wrong. I cringe when I see people texting and driving and when I watch horror movies. I am overly aware of the terrible things that could happen and I do all I can to prevent them. I would still do just about anything to make others happy, but I am more focused on my family and what I enjoy. I have found something I am passionate about, something that makes me feel like this world will be a beautiful place one day.  And yes, I happily wear flared jeans and tennis shoes without any desire to become like the cool kids. The truth is, my experiences and memories make me who I am today. I wonder who I will be in another five years. 

(On another note, today my parents were telling me about their weekend. It seems like once the kids leave home it's time to party again!!)

When did you notice you were a "grown up"?
What do you miss (or not) about the so called fun years?
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